It's been far too long

So I know it has been a while... I have had SO many battles going on... I just don't have much time to do anything these days. Let's see... my back is getting worse day to day, my shoulders are so bad they keep causing my arms to go numb... and my knees that is a whole story in itself. And WOO HOO... my Epstein Barr is back. But enough about me... my life is what comes in last place.

Starting with the youngest... Devlin is now on Vyvanse for his ADHD... and when I say he is ADHD he isn't just teetering the scale... he is literally sitting at one side. The medication is showing a difference, but I am pretty sure they will be upping his dosage at his visit in December (hopefully). He doesn't really show any of the side effects, other than the loss of appetite... which isn't all that bad... he could stand to even out a bit. Plus it may save me a fortune. I do get excited when he actually completes a meal though. Hopefully his teacher will notice a difference in him at school. He is super smart... just needs to be able to focus a bit more. I'll tell you though... him off his medication - CRAZY!!!

Middle kiddo... Isabella is going to be tested for a leaning disability in December. She is still struggling to read and we think it may be a processing issue. I am focusing so much time on trying to get her caught up, I'm afraid that she will get burnt out... and I definitely do NOT want that. She is LOVING being a Brownie Girl Scout this year... I took on being the leader... unfortunately, her former troop was just not up to par for me. All the girls in her troop are in her school... which is an added bonus... and they love the activities that they get to do... I must say, "I rock as a leader." I guess it is the fabulous role models that I had in my own years as a Girl Scout (Thanks Mama and Kathy!!!)

Eldest... Anastasia... ahhh what to say... She makes me regret ANYTHING I do or buy for her... She is NOT a smart girl... She asked for one thing for Christmas and ONLY one thing... I told her I ordered this ONE thing... and what has she done DAILY... yup pissed me off. I am at the point that I am going to return this said present when it arrives. She needs to learn... and unfortunately, nothing else I do seems to make any sort of difference. I am tired of battling with her to help... clean her room (pick up clothes, takes cans and dishes out, and pick up trash (I think she honestly does NOT know what to do with a trash can), and do the cat stuff)... be NICE to her siblings... ANYTHING. But no... she is a self absorbed teenager that thinks the world owes her... And to top it off... I broke her computer tonight... and I don't care... she doesn't respect ANYTHING or ANYONE... so I feel no love lost from her not having communication to the outside world. I am seriously fed up.

The husband... Richard FINALLY got his new rating from the VA... 172% Permanent and Total... 100% alone for his PTSD - That is FABULOUS... downside... the battle I am taking on with the VA because they decided that because he can PHYSICALLY do things... he doesn't need a caregiver. What the Houston VA FAILS to take into account is that he never remembers the stuff, needs guidance... all sorts of stuff... They irritate me... The issues is that the VA in Houston is tainted... and they apparently don't like to be called out on how they do things wrong. I don't much care... do your job right and we won't have an issue. Needless to say... We appealed his Tier 1... they took it away... we appealed to the VISN (32 page letter with 43 extra pages of supporting documentation)... using the information from the tainted doctors he was denied... pretty sure they didn't read what I sent in... I also believe that they thought I would just go away and give up... Nope!!! Now I am onto an external review at the VISN level... which was another 11 page letter... all sent to the USMC WWR, a Congressman, #2 in charge of the Caregiver Program, WWP, the director at the VISN, and the Patient Advocate at the VA here... I hope they realize I ONLY fight for what I believe in... and what I KNOW is right.

I am tired and have so much to do... I just need to run away to have a moment to myself... but I doubt that will happen... so for now I guess I'll just be...

Just the Wife, Just the Mama

Anthropology Introduction

Hello! My name is Natasha Massimino and I am currently working on my Bachelors degree in Psychology. While I am a full-time student, I am also a full-time mom, full-time caregiver to my husband that was wounded in Iraq while serving as a United States Marine (he is medically retired), a Brownie Girl Scout leader for my younger daughter, on the PTO of my younger children’s elementary school, a volunteer for my eldest daughter’s choir, and an advocate for wounded warriors. I have three beautiful children (15, 7, and 5), and a wonderful husband who I love more than anything. Being his caregiver is far more than a full-time job, but there is no one else I would rather do it for. While I understand that people are “busy” and have “so much to do,” but you should be careful what you say to another person, because you may not know their “story.” So while I am a loving and compassionate person, truly I believe that people are busy and sometimes take on things that overwhelm them, I am not one to look to for sympathy in this topic of time. I get just a few hours of sleep a night, insist that I do quality things with my children, and fight for my husband and his rights for proper treatment and medical in the VA system. I don’t believe that people owe me or my husband anything, just because he was wounded, I earn everything we have. My husband knows that I not only fight for him, to change laws and procedures, but for all veterans. My goal is to work at the VA, with veterans that suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Traumatic Brain Injury. I believe that I have a difference that I can accomplish and that I can help make happen. I rarely ask for help, and usually do everything myself, serious character flaw. I am a perfectionist and anal retentive, which is hard to maintain in my “world.” My children are my world and my life. We do not allow my husband’s injuries to dictate our lives, we simply deal with them and try to be our “new normal” as much as possible. I overload myself with obligation not because I want to “kill” myself with exhaustion, but because I believe that I have a change I need to make in this world, and my education is how it will help to make it a reality. I believe that my children should not have to suffer “quality” time and experiences with their mama because she waited till she was older to finish her education. And I believe that I deserve to have my own accomplishments, and be someone other than “just the wife” or “just the mama.”