Thursday, January 31, 2013

101 in 1001 - Updated 9/5/2013


So jumping in on this bandwagon... There are so many things I want to do and accomplish... I guess this is the PERFECT way to keep me accountable. Other than #1... they are in no particular order...
101 in 1001 Days Bucket List

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

The Start Date:
2/1/13

The End Date:
10/30/15

Goals in progress are italicized in purple, goals completed are bolded in red, goals highlighted are completely done

Here it goes:

1 - Lose 100 pounds... truly my #1 goal!!!

As of 3/12-2013 I am down 6.8 pounds - Heading to the doctor on 7/9/2013 - I think there is a problem with my Thyroid

2 - Drink 100 oz of water a day... don't get me wrong... I don't like water and intend to put fresh lemon each and every time...


I'm working my way up... I'm getting there

3 - Head to Washington DC and get my Slovenian passport... Gotta make my dual citizenship , you know, real...


4 - Have a "date" at least twice a month... it is good for me to communicate with my friends and keep me in the realities of life... These can be on the phone...


Sara Shaw on 2/6/13

Heather Litz - 2/20/13

Lisa Kronke - 3/14/13

Caysi Bull - 3/15/2013

Caysi Bull - 4/12/2013

Torrey Shannon - 4/16/2013

Lisa Pelletier - 5/14/2013

Lisa Pelletier - 5/15/2013

Summer Tiani - 6/7/2013

Torrey Shannon - 6/24/2013

Kristi Seidel - 7/26/2013

Kristi Seidel - 7/27/2013

Torrey Shannon - 8/6/2013

Torrey Shannon - 8/7/2013

5 - Go to Portland, Maine and visit April...


6 - Get the wisdom tooth that is literally only half there pulled... after 3 1/2 years... I think it is time to actively start working on this...

It was done on March 26, 2013

7 - Quit... soda... OK... I said it... I am going to QUIT SODA!!!


I have been soda free since 2/1/13, I quit caffeine from February 13, 2013

through March 30th for Lent

8 - Build a toy holder for Devlin... Devlin proof...

9 - Build a toy holder for Isabella... again... Devlin proof...

10 - Paint the inside of the house...

11 - Spend a weekend with one of my children individually twice a year. So start with Isabella (February 2013)... Then Anastasia (March 2013)... Then Devlin...

Isabella - 2/8/13 - 2/9/13 (Mother/ Daughter camping weekend - Had to leave

early due to weather conditions... so I am going to make up a day with

her) April 6th - Isabella and I will be going to the American Doll Store

Anastasia - 3/1/13 - 3/3/13 (Choir trip to Dallas - Medieval Times, Six Flags)

Devlin - May 18th... Lego KidsFest

               July 13th... Houston Museum of Natural Science, Dinosaur Exhibit

12 - Have at least 1 date with Richard every odd month (11-Jan, 03-Mar, 10-May, July, September, November)...

Went Shooting... 3/19/2013

Go Kart Racing... 5/13/2013

Wicked... 7/11/2013

Movies... 9/18/2013

Secret... 11/8/2013

13 - Read 100 books at MINIMUM...

Not including all the books I have read since the start of the year... here is what I

have finished SINCE 2/1/13:

1 - Vampire Diaries - The Hunters V 2: Shadow Souls

2 - Vampire Diaries - The Hunters V 3: Destiny Rising

3 - The Secret Circle - The Initiation

4 - The Secret Circle - The Captive Part I

5 - The Secret Circle - The Captive Part II

6 - The Secret Circle - The Power

7 - Thirst No. 1 - The Last Vampire

8 - Thirst No. 1 - Black Blood

9 - Thirst No. 1 - Red Dice

10 - Thirst No. 2 - Phantom

11 - Thirst No. 2 - Evil Thirst

12 - Thirst No. 2 - Creatures of Forever

13 - Thirst No. 3 - The Eternal Dawn

14 - Thirst No. 4 - The Shadow of Death

15 - House of Night - Marked - 1

16 - House of Night -Betrayed - 2

17 - House of Night - Chosen - 3

18 - House of Night - Untamed - 4

19 - The Casting Trilogy - Blood Ties

20 - House of Night - Hunted - 5

21 - House of Night - Tempted - 6

22 - House of Night - Burned - 7

23 - House of Night - Awakened

24 - House of Night - Destined

25 - House of Night - Hidden

26 - The Secret Circle: The Hunt

27 - Night World 1

28 - Night World 2

29 - Night World 3

30 - The Casting Trilogy - Deep Water

31 - The Casting Trilogy - Full Circle

14 - Plant and GROW watermelon in our garden...

The heat killed it... This may be a lost cause here

15 - Go to Colorado for at least two weeks in the winter... HELLO TORREY!!!


16 - Go to the gym at least 1 time per week...

Going to start in September

17 - Go swimming at least 1 time per week...

7/17/2013 - Community Pool

7/18/2013 - Lifetime

7/26/2013 - Moody Garden's

18 - Have a lunch/ dinner date at least once a month with a friend...

February 2013 - Debbie Shultz (12th) - Chili's

                           Kristi Seidel (15th) - Chuy's

March 2013 - Kristi Seidel (13th) - Hibatchi Japanese Steakhouse

April 2013 - LeAnne Bass (2nd) - Lupe Tortilla's

                      Kristi Seidel (5th) - Sharky's

May 2013 - Allyson Davis (29th) - Lupe Tortilla's

                   Kristi Seidel (30th) - Carrabas

June 2013 - Allyson Davis (25th) - Tea Party

July 2013 - Kristi Seidel (22nd) - Los Cucos (movie - Grownups 2)

August 2013 - Kristi Seidel (24th) - La Madeline

September 2013 - Kristi Seidel (1st) - Five Guys

19 - Learn to scrapbook...


After helping me get all my crafting and scrapbooking items in order, on April

5, 2013 - Kristi Seidel taught me how to scrapbook

20 - Complete the Financial Peace University

School time is a better time to start that

21 - Teach Isabella and Devlin the Financial Peace Junior...

We've started the Give, Save, and Spend piggies... they are doing well with it...

Decided that they will do it during Christmas break...

22 - Save at LEAST $10,000-... This is a pretty big goal for me too
 
As of 1/1/2014 I will have $550-

23 - Travel to Colorado to spend some girl time with Torrey... having FUN the next go around... just me...

24 - Donate at least 12 inches of hair to Locks of Love... This is going to come towards the end... most likely at the last minute...


25 - Save $10,000 couponing...


Up to $3030.08 as of September 5, 2013

26 - Take a walk around the lake at least 3 times a week...

4/5/13 - Walk with Casidy Lee - 1.971 miles

4/12/13 - Walk with Casidy Lee - 3.33 miles

4/14/13 - Walk with Family - 2.733 miles

4/18/13 - Walk with Cassidy Lee - 2.62 miles

4/19/13 - Walk with Casidy Lee - 2.588 miles

4/20/13 - Walk with Brownies - 1.192 miles

4/21/13 - Walk with Family - 1.473 miles

5/18/13 - Walk with Impact a Hero - 2.09 miles

27 - Work on my book at least 3 days a week... at an hour each time...

28 - Work on my blog at least once a month... I know it isn't as much as others... but it needs to be realistic for me...


February 22, 2013 - Competency and the VA

March 19, 2013 - Gunpowder an Lead... or Anxiety... Same Thing, Right?

April 1, 2013 - It's My Life... It's Now or Never...

May 28, 2013 - Is it a Tornado? Is it a Hurricane? Nah, it's just the whirlwind of life...

June 27, 2013 - Battling the VA CGC

July 31, 2013 - NO... You can't have my power

August 31, 2013 - Back to School

29 - Make an extra house payment at least once a year...

30 - Go snow skiing for the first time...


31 - Buy a really cute bathing suit to go with my new body...

32 - Go to Tommy's wedding in Ohio... in July 2013...

Sadly, we missed it

33 - Go to Washington DC to speak on "The Hill" about the Caregiver Stipend and PTSD

34 - Get my memorial tattoo for my Mama... which is ironic since she didn't like tattoos on me...

35 - I'm going to copy the BEAUTIFUL Torrey Shannon on this one... Send 200 cards of gratitude/ positive words and thinking about you, to people that have made an absolute difference in something that pertains to my life... I am hoping to make them using my Cricut...

1 - Torrey Shannon

2 - Jacqueline Zwisler

3 - Karen Ramirez

4 - Kristi Seidel

5 - Tania Ewing

6 - Meghann Brodeur

7- Caysi Bull

8 - Babi and Dedek Crepinsek

9 - Meta Crepinsek

10 - Teresa Carpenter

11 - Sonia Flores

12 - Kathy Lovelett

13 - Alison King

14 - Lisa Pelletier

15 - Robert Strauss

16 - Joanne Strauss

17 - Debbie Shultz

18 - Julie Webb

19 - Tim Ewing

20 - Wendy Bloomquist

21 - Merry and Rick Starkey

22 - Crystal Johnson

23 - Laura Yi

24 - Julie Wright

25 - Amber Young

26 - Alex Wilhelm

27 - Jessica Montgomery

28 - Erin Dahan

29 - Holly Rindorf

30 - April Marcum

31 - Tara Halvorson

32 - Nadine Clinard

33 - Ferrin Smithhisler

34 - Stephen Holley II

35 - Rene' Granata

36 - Erica and Vince Delperdang

37 - Shayla Klytta

38 - Joan Millar

39 - Heather Strange

40 - Rene van der Weide

36 - Pay for someone's order behind me in the line at Starbucks...

So it wasn't Starbucks... But I did pay for someone's food behind me at

Chick Fil-A ($12.38 on 2/13/2013)

I did it again at Chick Fil-A on 2/15/13 for $10.57

37 - Make 10 craft ideas off Pinterest (SO stole that one too from Torrey)...


38 - Learn to make the soup noodles that my Mama use to make...

39 - Learn to make apple struddle...

40 - Surprise a friend, out of state, with a visit for at least a couple of days...

41 - Take a family picture that I can be proud of (with me looking good in it)...

42 - FINALLY make my message in a bottle... I have had the bottles for YEARS!!!

On April 29, 2013 I threw my bottle into the Hood Canal in Union, WA... from the dock of the Alderbrook Resort. On May 2, 2013 I was contacted by Steven Weschler of Hoodsport, WA that he and his wife found it on the shores, and now look forward to making their own message in the bottle!!!

43 - Find someone out of state that wants to send letters and fun things back and forth... I need inspiring and loving words of encouragement... yay to pen pals... Anyone?

Since Nicole DeLoach volunteered... I have started...

1 - April 1, 2013

44 - Start a support group for wives of wounded warriors in my local area...


In the works... Let you know when I have more information to give

45 - Work with a non-profit and volunteer with them...


See #44
                         
46 - Take a "ME" trip...


I went to Seattle, WA from April 24th - May 1st!!! I enjoyed the peace and quiet... solitude... and regeneration time... I recommend EVERYONE to do this. It was AMAZING!!!

47 - Go HOME at least once a year...

October 2013 is my goal...

48 - Learn to shoot a gun (the one time I have ever shot a gun doesn't count as learning)...

3/19/2013 - I shot a Glock 19, 9mm

4/24/2013 - I shot a Heckler Koch, .45; Smith & Wesson, .45; and a Springfield                                   1911, 9mm

49 - Fire a shotgun... or a rifle... at a target NOT a living animal


50 - Send my brother-in-law, Tim, a care package at LEAST once a month... while he is deployed...

February 15, 2013 - Box 1 & 2

March 20, 2013 - Box 3 & 4 (AND 4 cases of Girl Scout Cookies!!!)

May 2, 2013 - Box 5 & 6 - Richard forgot to mail them for me while I was gone...

May - My sister informed me not to send any boxes this month due to address changes - He got home May 22, 2013!!!

51 - Participate in Project 365 and actually complete it!!!


52 - Encourage someone to participate in 101 in 1001...

Why is no one doing it?

53 - Write my children "love letters"... 1 per year... to be kept safe for a unknown future date


Anastasia - October 2013

Isabella - October 2013

Devlin - October 2013

54 - Make Isabella a pillowcase dress...

55 - Complete a 5K run... If you know how broken I am... this is actually a feat for me...

Going to do it with my Brownie Troop!!!

56 - Teach Isabella and Devlin to ride a bicycle... without training wheels...

57 - Have Isabella and Devlin swimming independently...


I am proud to say that on July 17th, my children would go down the slide and then swim to the edge of the pool all on their own... They continue to amaze me with their strength... It may not be picture perfect stokes... but they are doing it and it is a start!!!

58 - Perform two random acts of kindness a year for someone I care about (whether a little or a lot)...

April Hawks - March 2013

Mariah Shannon - March 2013 - She is here because I did something and I

do not even know her

Torrey Shannon - April 2013

Mariah Shannon - April 2013


59 - Create business cards just for me...

DONE!!! They look good, at least I think so... 2-14-2013

60 - Renew my American passport...


61 - Pay off the Suburban...


62 - Once a month cuddle in my bed and enjoy a family movie night with my husband and three kids... eating ice cream and popcorn...


2-17-2013 - Peter Pan

3-30-2013 - The Guardians

4-20-2013 - Nanny McPhee

5-24-2013 - Tangled

June - Harry Potter (years 1 - 7)

July 5, 2013 - ParaNorman

August 31, 2013 - Transformers

63 - Color an ENTIRE coloring book... Natasha style...

64 - Watch the 10 greatest movies ever made...

According to http://www.imdb.com/chart/top... This is what they are... I thought it

would be Casablanca and what not

1 - Shawshank Redemption

2 - The Godfather

3 - The Godfather, Part II

4 - Pulp Fiction

5 - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

6 - 12 Angry Men

7 - The Dark Knight

8 - Schindler's List

9 - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

10 - Fight Club

65 - Save ALL my coin change...

As of 9/5/2013 - I am up to $126.38

66 - Visit the Munster Mansion in Waxahachie, TX

67 - Attend the Renaissance Festival


68 - Write a Living Will and have it notarized...

69 - Create an Advanced Directive for Richard and I...

70 - Re-alphabetize my DVD collection... It is driving me crazy NOT being in order...

Completed 7/12/2013

71 - Fly a lighted candle for my Mama and Grandpa Strauss... I sure do miss them

72 - Organize my China cabinet better...


73 - Get the children passports...

74 - Go visit Heather in McKinney, TX (watch out girl you made the list)...

75 - Visit my best friend, Wendy (HOPEFULLY in California)...

76 - Research land possibilities in Westcliffe, CO...


77 - Plan at least 3 FANTASTIC field trips for my Girl Scout troop...

78 - Decide what to do with Anastasia's room and start prepping it for it's future goal when Anastasia goes off to college... Will it be a guest room? Will it be a hobby room? Maybe and ACTUAL office for Natasha... The possibilities are endless...

It's fate has been decided... It will be my domain... My craft room/ office

79 - Scan all of Richard's medical records into the computer...

Sadly because the hard drive on my main computer crashed and things did not back up the way they were suppose to... I'm thinking I have to start over... Ugh

80 - (This is getting hard) Get an American flag that actually STAYS on the house...

81 - Get Richard to ACTUALLY put the fan up in his office...


YEAH!!! He did it while I was in Seattle

82 - Fix the holes in the walls...


Richard started doing this while I was in Seattle - We hit some snags and now need the structure of my house looked at before we can proceed

83 - Get a bracelet that represents each of my three children (or add to one I already have)...


84 - Buy a pair of female jeans (I typically like men's Wranglers)...


85 - Attend a scrapbooking weekend...

86 - Make 5 different signs to sell on my Cricut...


87 - Make apple butter...

88 - Take a cooking class...

89 - Make a cook book for my sister...



In progess... they are a whole lotta mind thinking questions

91 - Make 5 new friends...

1 - Michael Gasper

2 - Kristi Seidel

3 - Shannon Aiken
 
4 -

5 -

92 - Visit South Padre Island...


93 - Think of something that I love about each of my kids and husband for everyday in a month and give them a card that says this... Use a different month for each person...

Cards are made up... Just need to write them out

May 2013 - Richard

October 2013- Anastasia

October 2013 - Isabella

October 2013 - Devlin


94 - Learn how to sew a dress...

Diana has agreed to teach me... now I just have to find some time

95 - Get rid of ALL the clothes I currently own... Losing THAT much weight... I won't fit in ANYTHING I currently have...


96 - Find a couch I LOVE!!! This is actually VERY difficult... I wish I had kept mine from California... * Sigh *...




Got it July , 2013

97 - Read this list once a week... AT LEAST!!!

I read it pretty much every day

98 - For every goal I do NOT complete... donate $10- to a worthy charity...

99 - For every goal I complete put $50- into savings...

$550 - 1/1/2014 - Goals: 6, 7, 19, 36, 42, 46, 48, 59, 70, 81, 96

100 - Finish a puzzle

101 - Create a new 101 in 1001 by October 15th, 2015...


 


 





 



Sunday, November 25, 2012

It's been far too long

So I know it has been a while... I have had SO many battles going on... I just don't have much time to do anything these days. Let's see... my back is getting worse day to day, my shoulders are so bad they keep causing my arms to go numb... and my knees that is a whole story in itself. And WOO HOO... my Epstein Barr is back. But enough about me... my life is what comes in last place.

Starting with the youngest... Devlin is now on Vyvanse for his ADHD... and when I say he is ADHD he isn't just teetering the scale... he is literally sitting at one side. The medication is showing a difference, but I am pretty sure they will be upping his dosage at his visit in December (hopefully). He doesn't really show any of the side effects, other than the loss of appetite... which isn't all that bad... he could stand to even out a bit. Plus it may save me a fortune. I do get excited when he actually completes a meal though. Hopefully his teacher will notice a difference in him at school. He is super smart... just needs to be able to focus a bit more. I'll tell you though... him off his medication - CRAZY!!!

Middle kiddo... Isabella is going to be tested for a leaning disability in December. She is still struggling to read and we think it may be a processing issue. I am focusing so much time on trying to get her caught up, I'm afraid that she will get burnt out... and I definitely do NOT want that. She is LOVING being a Brownie Girl Scout this year... I took on being the leader... unfortunately, her former troop was just not up to par for me. All the girls in her troop are in her school... which is an added bonus... and they love the activities that they get to do... I must say, "I rock as a leader." I guess it is the fabulous role models that I had in my own years as a Girl Scout (Thanks Mama and Kathy!!!)

Eldest... Anastasia... ahhh what to say... She makes me regret ANYTHING I do or buy for her... She is NOT a smart girl... She asked for one thing for Christmas and ONLY one thing... I told her I ordered this ONE thing... and what has she done DAILY... yup pissed me off. I am at the point that I am going to return this said present when it arrives. She needs to learn... and unfortunately, nothing else I do seems to make any sort of difference. I am tired of battling with her to help... clean her room (pick up clothes, takes cans and dishes out, and pick up trash (I think she honestly does NOT know what to do with a trash can), and do the cat stuff)... be NICE to her siblings... ANYTHING. But no... she is a self absorbed teenager that thinks the world owes her... And to top it off... I broke her computer tonight... and I don't care... she doesn't respect ANYTHING or ANYONE... so I feel no love lost from her not having communication to the outside world. I am seriously fed up.

The husband... Richard FINALLY got his new rating from the VA... 172% Permanent and Total... 100% alone for his PTSD - That is FABULOUS... downside... the battle I am taking on with the VA because they decided that because he can PHYSICALLY do things... he doesn't need a caregiver. What the Houston VA FAILS to take into account is that he never remembers the stuff, needs guidance... all sorts of stuff... They irritate me... The issues is that the VA in Houston is tainted... and they apparently don't like to be called out on how they do things wrong. I don't much care... do your job right and we won't have an issue. Needless to say... We appealed his Tier 1... they took it away... we appealed to the VISN (32 page letter with 43 extra pages of supporting documentation)... using the information from the tainted doctors he was denied... pretty sure they didn't read what I sent in... I also believe that they thought I would just go away and give up... Nope!!! Now I am onto an external review at the VISN level... which was another 11 page letter... all sent to the USMC WWR, a Congressman, #2 in charge of the Caregiver Program, WWP, the director at the VISN, and the Patient Advocate at the VA here... I hope they realize I ONLY fight for what I believe in... and what I KNOW is right.

I am tired and have so much to do... I just need to run away to have a moment to myself... but I doubt that will happen... so for now I guess I'll just be...

Just the Wife, Just the Mama

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Anthropology Introduction

Hello! My name is Natasha Massimino and I am currently working on my Bachelors degree in Psychology. While I am a full-time student, I am also a full-time mom, full-time caregiver to my husband that was wounded in Iraq while serving as a United States Marine (he is medically retired), a Brownie Girl Scout leader for my younger daughter, on the PTO of my younger children’s elementary school, a volunteer for my eldest daughter’s choir, and an advocate for wounded warriors. I have three beautiful children (15, 7, and 5), and a wonderful husband who I love more than anything. Being his caregiver is far more than a full-time job, but there is no one else I would rather do it for. While I understand that people are “busy” and have “so much to do,” but you should be careful what you say to another person, because you may not know their “story.” So while I am a loving and compassionate person, truly I believe that people are busy and sometimes take on things that overwhelm them, I am not one to look to for sympathy in this topic of time. I get just a few hours of sleep a night, insist that I do quality things with my children, and fight for my husband and his rights for proper treatment and medical in the VA system. I don’t believe that people owe me or my husband anything, just because he was wounded, I earn everything we have. My husband knows that I not only fight for him, to change laws and procedures, but for all veterans. My goal is to work at the VA, with veterans that suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Traumatic Brain Injury. I believe that I have a difference that I can accomplish and that I can help make happen. I rarely ask for help, and usually do everything myself, serious character flaw. I am a perfectionist and anal retentive, which is hard to maintain in my “world.” My children are my world and my life. We do not allow my husband’s injuries to dictate our lives, we simply deal with them and try to be our “new normal” as much as possible. I overload myself with obligation not because I want to “kill” myself with exhaustion, but because I believe that I have a change I need to make in this world, and my education is how it will help to make it a reality. I believe that my children should not have to suffer “quality” time and experiences with their mama because she waited till she was older to finish her education. And I believe that I deserve to have my own accomplishments, and be someone other than “just the wife” or “just the mama.”

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Just tired...

So... I am so tired... On March 21st my husband had a loss of conciousness which resulted in hitting his head... trip to the ER via ambulance... which turned into a full blown PTSD episode... 8 people to hold him down just to be drugged with 4 different sedatives which KNOCKED him out... but not before they pulled out the leather straps to strap him to the bed... by the time we walked out SEVERAL hours later his blood pressure was at a high of 84 over 66... Impressive, huh? Anyhow... moving forward... March 29th... he was talking to my eldest and my friend - all of a sudden hit the wall then the tile... Yup... 9-1-1 again... and off we went... I actually had an option (at least that is what the firefighters called it) - hospital or Houston PD... Wouldn't you know with our luck it was the SAME shift as the previous week... *UGH* Anyhow... no PTSD problem that time (THANK GOD!!!)... Got home at 0230 on the 30th... Happy Birthday to me... FINALLY went to bed about 0530 - asleep about 0600... Wake up call at 0950 - My husband was having a full blown PTSD episode in the middle of school... Again *UGH*... Seriously - At that point I had had about 8 hours of sleep in the past 2 days... Needless-to-say - I was NOT happy... nor was I nice when I got there... Literally told my husband I was NOT very sympathetic being so exhausted... Finally came to - followed by him sleeping the remainder of the day... Didn't really talk to him the rest of that night... 31st... Call from the College... oh goody a meeting is being called with the Dean... went to my son's T-Ball game that night, then out to dinner... That is when I FINALLY lost it in FRONT of my husband... I am tired of the fact that in all these years of putting up with this shit... I have only lost it in front of him MAYBE 3 times... always with the same outcome... "I don't want to lose my family over this..." Are you serious? Who said I was leaving... I was just done... burnt out... tired... I do EVERYTHING... and all I needed was a MOMENT... tomorrow I would be fine... It doesn't HAVE TO be about him right then... It needed to be about me... my kids get it... They said, "Papa - Mama is just sad..." Meeting with the Dean on the 4th... brought someone from the WWP with us (Yeah Jim Roos)... needless-to-say - I think she was going to try to kick him out - but didn't like that we brought our own advocate. So she is trying to push him out of a college setting by insisting on ONLINE classes... HELLO - how can he LEARN to be in society if he is not IN society... and HELLO - he has TBI - Online classes are just not going to work - he needs the interaction with the teacher... PLUS he needs the motivation to GET UP everyday and DO something... That brings us to the 5th... Another PTSD episode at home... I am done... I am tired... and I am burnt... I did this constant episode a long time ago (in our world time)... and I am NOT ready to go back... I enjoy being with my kids outside of the house... and I don't want to lock us away afraid to be in public because of what he may do... It isn't good for the kids... me... or him. I lost who I was a LONG time ago... and I keep trying to reclaim me... but how can I when it is ALWAYS about him... My world is suppose to revolve around my children... And it isn't fair that they are losing out on SO much...

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Welcome to 2011

Well... I took my trip to Savannah... what a wonderful redefining time of my life... I learned so much about me all by myself... I saw a few VERY important people to me on that trip and it made ALL the difference to me... Redefinition of one self is EXTREMELY important

I decided to start on my Bucket List... On 30 December 2010 I started saving my change for a year... Woo Hoo - already have $7.40... Is that pathetic? Maybe if you knew most of it is in pennies... LOL...

I go to California from March 03 - 14 will be ANOTHER wonderful venture for me - as I get to spend time with my neices - and see my California friends... ANOTHER visit I KNOW I need...

2010 left me with a LOT of realizations... I need to let them grow and build to make who I am stronger and healthier... my wish for each of you - the same...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

For me...

I never ask for much... but what I DO want is the best for me... and that is why  have decided that I need to take a solo vacation... I decided that I am going to Savannah, GA for 6 days (December 14 - 20th)... I need sometime to do what I want to do... rest... sight see... explore... and regain a bit of the woman I was born to be...

This Texas living has caused SO MUCH depression that I need to get out of here and be a little HAPPY... if even for just a moment. I chose Savannah... 'cause well... I have always wanted to live there - so thought - hey probably should go visit it... I think this will be a rejuvenating trip for me... I never get this opportunity - so I am GOING TO take it.

I do have my concerns though... I am worried about Richard and the children... With his recent PTSD episode it concerns me that he will become flustered too easily while I am gone... But I need to keep in mind that he NEEDS to have responsibility and motivation to do things during the day... The children will be in school that week... then out Christmas Break starting that Friday afternoon... AndDevlin will stay going to school... So really just the weekend is the issue... But he can take them to the gym for a 2-hour break each day if need be...

Am I being selfish... it feels like it... and I do NOT like it.. NOT one bit... It is making my tummy sick... I keep trying to convice myself that this will be good for me AND the family... They will have Mama come home HAPPY and RESTED!!! I think over these past couple of years I have become SO burnt out with school and everything - I need a refresher...

This will be good for me... and I know I will enjoy myself... I just need to believe that...

Bucket List

Attend a Hawaiian Luau
Attend Mardi Gras   
Attend Mass by the Pope
Attend the Renaissance Festival
Attend the Vienna Philharmonic
Be in Times Square for New Year’s
Capture lightning in a photo
Climb the stairs of the Washington Monument
Color 1 whole coloring book                        - STarted 1/6-2011
Crush grapes in a vineyard w/my feet
Eat at a 5 star restaurant
Feel the emotion in the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
Fly first class
Fly in a jet fighter
Get a Master’s Degree – Complete by June 2015
Go ice skating in Rockefeller Center
Go on a cruise
Go on a ghost hunting investigation
Go on a vacation by myself – Complete by 12/20/2010
Go Parasailing
Go skeet shooting
Go target shooting
Go the Guggenheim Museum
Go to a vineyard
Go to an international sporting event
Go to an opera
Go to Graceland
Go to the top of the Empire States Building and look down
Go white water rafting
Go zip-lining
Go zorbing
Have a star named after me
Help build a house for Habitat for Humanity
Indoor skydive    
Learn sign language
Learn Slovenian
Learn to belly dance
Learn to ice skate
Learn to ski/snowboard
Lose 120 pounds - Be a healthy weight    
Organize all my photos
Project 365                       - Started 01/01/11
Pull taffy
Ride a Gondola IN Venice
Ride a horse on the beach
Ride a motorcycle (passenger)
Run a marathon    
Save change for a year                   - started 12/30/10
See a musical on Broadway
See the Northern Lights
See the Vietnam War Memorial Wall
Send a message in a bottle    
Stand under a waterfall
Start a blog                                - completed 11/02/10
Swim w/dolphins
Take a ballroom dancing class
Take a photography class
Throw a dart at a map and go there
Tour Alcatraz
Tour Hearst Castle
Tour the Biltmore Estate
Visit a Nazi Concentration Camp
Visit all 50 states – 17/50 done
Visit Ellis Island
Visit Gettysburg
Visit Iwo Jima
Visit Niagara Falls
Visit Slovenia
Visit the Amazon Rainforest
Visit the Amish in PA
Visit the Carlsbad Caverns in NM
Visit the Grand Ole Opry
Visit the Illinois Holocaust Museum
Visit the Lincoln Memorial
Visit the Munster Mansion in Waxahachie, TX
Visit the Sistine Chapel
Visit the USS Arizona in Hawaii
Wad in a cranberry bog
Watch the 10 greatest movies of all time
Watch the launch of a space shuttle
Write a letter to my future self
Write a letter to the people who made a difference to me